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How Has the Pandemic Impacted Work at the NSA?

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Where Are They Now? – Jareth the Goblin King

BUCKINGHAMSHIRE, UK – After his betrayal by Hoggle, and being turned into an owl at the end of 1986's Labyrinth, Jareth, the Goblin King, decided that he had had enough of the baby...

Mid-American Conference Cancels 2020 Football Season, Dozens of Mathletes Whimper Cheer of Relief

dozens let forth their barbaric yelp as they quoted scenes from Dead Poets Society...

Top Five Songs Celebrating a Vice Presidential Gaffe

Top 5 List
In my best Rod Stweart voice... VPs make all the gaffes. VPs are a real pain. VPs bump, stumble, and break. VPs do nothing. I can just stop this ditty right there.

Budweiser Announces Alcohol Free Beer, Reverend John Wilson Proclaims, “Victory Mine!”

Bored People
“For nearly 400 years I’ve been praying for the extraction of ‘fun’ from beer, and today my sinfully wild dreams have become reality.”, announced the puritan elder.

Revealed: John Kennedy Jr. Was Purchased as Desk on Wayfair

Wayfair Resolute Desk
MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MA - Recently uncoverd documents reveal that John Kennedy Jr. was not the natural child of President John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Kennedy, but was purchased from Wayfair as part of an antique wooden desk. Social media has been ablaze in recent weeks with stories of highly priced furniture bearing the name...

Ask a Playbill Bio: Faux Pas

Ask a Playbill Bio: Peter Pan and Coffee
What's better than a cup of coffe? Stealing your boss' coffee.

Where Are They Now? – Scrooge McDuck

Where are they now? Scrooge McDuck
A sad surprise to many, Scrooge McDuck was a prominant name on the logs and racked up many frequent flyer miles on the Lolita Express.

Top Five Songs to Sing Along to While Wearing Your COVID Mask

Top 5 List
Because everyone mumbles a little bit sometimes.

U.P. Vertical Launch Spaceport Announced, Eastown Woman Worries It Will Scare Her Cockapoo

Representative Jack Bergman, representing the 1st district, assured Michiganders that pasties and Christian Brothers brandy would be available at the spaceport cantina.