“Stop spreading disinformation and telling our staff to shove Sharpies up their butts.”, demanded Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel during a press conference Thursday. Nessel went on to point out that these government employees are “…kind, hardworking public servants just doing their job.” If that fabrication wasn’t enough to set the tone for the remainder of the press conference, Nessel then went on to state, “These right wing conspiracies about Sharpies is ridiculous. Everyone knows that frozen potatoes are what you are supposed to insert in your rectum.”
Jonathan is a degreed physicist and engineer by day, and amateur entertainer in the evenings. He enjoys studying and performing improvised comedy and writing sketch comedy. When he’s had enough of listening to people complain, you can find him underwater scuba diving where he can’t hear you. It’s like space. No one can hear you, but not because of a vacuum. No. It’s because you can’t talk. So it’s like space, but without the radiation and deadly aliens that burst out of your chest.