AG Nessel Imposes New COVID-19 Mandate: No Sharpies Up Staff Butts


“Stop spreading disinformation and telling our staff to shove Sharpies up their butts.”, demanded Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel during a press conference Thursday.  Nessel went on to point out that these government employees are “…kind, hardworking public servants just doing their job.”  If that fabrication wasn’t enough to set the tone for the remainder of the press conference, Nessel then went on to state, “These right wing conspiracies about Sharpies is ridiculous.  Everyone knows that frozen potatoes are what you are supposed to insert in your rectum.”