YUCAIPA, CA – Jealous of the attention that a couple from Los Angeles was receiving for their gender reveal party, Michael Merriman and Kathleen Robinson upped the ante by detonating a thermonuclear device this past week. The couple, amateur scientists, decided to build the device in their garage. If the yield was high in gamma radiation, the baby will be a girl. If the yield was high in beta emissions, the baby will be a boy.
The couple detonated the high explosive package surrounding the plutonium core as a ground burst at 1830 hours Zulu time. The couple equipped friends and family with radiation detectors and cloud chambers, and they all cheered when gamma bursts were logged by all the detectors. The jubilation was short lived as the pressure front and blast wave followed the radiation front by only a few seconds. Michael was heard to utter, “Oops!” as his lungs exploded from the 65.4 MPa overpressure exploded his lungs. Unfortunately, Kathleen’s final thought were never heard as the blast and fireball consumed the lot milliseconds later.
It was believed that she was thinking, “Check and mate, wildfire bitches!”.
Jonathan is a degreed physicist and engineer by day, and amateur entertainer in the evenings. He enjoys studying and performing improvised comedy and writing sketch comedy. When he’s had enough of listening to people complain, you can find him underwater scuba diving where he can’t hear you. It’s like space. No one can hear you, but not because of a vacuum. No. It’s because you can’t talk. So it’s like space, but without the radiation and deadly aliens that burst out of your chest.