WILMINGTON, DE – Presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden stunned the nation with his announcement of himself as a running mate today. From the basement bunker of his Wilmington home, Biden announced the Democratic ticket’s Vice President, Joe Biden.
In a Zoom press conference Biden lost his smile and looked confused at his wife Jill. Biden then turned to the camera and stated, “For the 2020 Democratic Ticket, the individual with the most experience as a Vice President should be the next nominee for vice president. Therefore, I nominate Joe Biden for the position and hope that he sees fit to accept.” The transmission was ended shortly after the announcement.
MSNBC immediately reported the genius of Biden’s announcement and strategy. On air personality Rachel Maddow reinforced the claim on her nightly show with an analysis of how Biden as a vice president has more than twice the experience of the Republican ticket’s Mike Pence. On another news network, Sean Hannity detailed how the move was a strategy to further erode 2nd Amendment Rights and move legal abortion into the first 12 months after birth.
Steven Stark is a self educated social commentator, humorist, and contributor. He is currently enjoying partial retirement and acting as editor for The Grand Beacon.