ARLINGTON, VA – After demands from China, Russia, and Iran regarding fears of domination the Trump administration ordered the immediate stand down of all United States Marine Corp tank battalions. “They asked and asked nicely, so we are getting rid of the tanks.”, said the Corps’ Commandant.
For some reason, Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, immediately announced an investigation or foreign collusion between the Trump administration and the countries. “Why she’s investigating this is insane. We’ve admitted to doing it at their request. It’s a unilateral de-escalation. You know. Diplomacy.”, responded an anonymous source in the administration.
In a developing story, there is a sudden and inexplicable shortage of crayons in China, Russia, and Iran.
Jonathan is a degreed physicist and engineer by day, and amateur entertainer in the evenings. He enjoys studying and performing improvised comedy and writing sketch comedy. When he’s had enough of listening to people complain, you can find him underwater scuba diving where he can’t hear you. It’s like space. No one can hear you, but not because of a vacuum. No. It’s because you can’t talk. So it’s like space, but without the radiation and deadly aliens that burst out of your chest.