FEMA to Cuomo on Killing Seniors: Hold my Beer

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WASHINGTON D.C. – Not to be outdone by the Democratic Governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo, the Trump administration upped the ante by sending defective PPE to nursing homes battling the virus.

On Saturday, the New York Times reported that nursing homes around the country were receiving “all but useless gloves and gowns.”  Officials in California have gone as far as to advise nursing homes not to use the gear.  Many of the boxes contained surgical gloves of the extra small size.  This led to numerous questions about the president’s hands and other…body parts.

At the beginning of the COVID 19 lockdown, Governor Cuomo ordered patients testing positive for COVID 19 into isolation in nursing facilities throughout the state.  This action killed or led to the death of thousands of seniors in New York.  In response FEMA, under the direction of President Donald Trump, let forth a ‘barbaric yalp’ and decried “We are wonderful at neglecting senior citizens.  Maybe the best at it.  No second-rate governor could ever do a more better job of screwing seniors than us.”