FSU Spends $29.5M on Virtual Learning Building – Everyone Else: $14.99 per Month on Zoom


BIG RAPIDS, MI – Ferris State University allocated $29.5 million for a Virtual Learning Building.  Everyone else in West Michigan, no, everyone else in Michigan, no, everyone else in the United States, dare I say the known universe just uses Zoom.

According to the Board of Trustees, the 64,000 square foot facility will be a location for all of the online virtual teaching resources to come together in one place.  “After spending all that time teaching stuff in their pajamas, our faculty needs a place to drive to and complain about the poor writing skills of their students.  In person.”, said Jake Jakeson.  “We’ve also got space for the students to come together and sit together to partake in our fabulous virtual instruction.”

Todd Todderson was skeptical though.  “If I understand this right, this is a building for professors to teach virtually from, and students to learn virtually from.  How is that virtual learning?”

Todd was immediately ushered off campus and encouraged to begin work at a Hedge Fund or Think Tank as he was way too smart for continuing at Ferris.Plans are in the works for a new virtual stadium and esports arena.  This would permit Ferris student athletes to have a place to set up their X-Boxes and Play Stations for competing with each other in EA Sports College Football and Basketball.