Holistic Health Practices for Your Inner Demons

0
59
Embrace Those Demons!

HELL, MI – Inner demons are people too.  They need self-care time as much as the caring, patient, goody-two-shoes half of you.  Here’s a five-step holistic approach for showing your infernal half you care about them as well.

Address the physical.  Your inner demons are living, breathing, entities that require regular time to run around the yard.  If you keep them locked up, of course they’re going to run amok the first time you leave the door cracked.  Thirty minutes a day every other day, (take the sabbath off), run around the yard with a spiked baseball bat and just hit things.  Your demons will love you, your deltoids will love you, your neighbors will learn to stay out of your fucking yard.

Socialize those sick puppies!  Ever met someone for the first time and had this thought tickling at the back of your brain?  You know something isn’t quite right about them, but you can’t put your finger on it?  Then they laugh at something that isn’t remotely funny, or miss a reference to a bit of obvious pop culture.  Then it hits you like a mac truck.  Home Schooled.  Poor S.O.B.

Do you want your inner demons to be the home-schooled schmucks of the netherworld?  Of course not.  Let them out to play with other people and learn.  Otherwise, you’ll be forced to explain why you smashed the breakroom microwave when Mary from accounting reheated roasted kale.

Brain Power!  An inner demon’s brain is its biggest muscle that isn’t a muscle.  Just telling your inner demons that little sound bite is enough to get them thinking.  Work their brains daily.  You could learn ancient Latin.  You could decipher ancient Egyptian texts related to the city of the dead.  Just be proactive.  Nothing is sadder than a 5000-year-old demon that has inhabited your body for 6 months and develops dementia because you never mentally stimulated them.

Spiritual Awakenings Deliver Results.  Sure, your inner demons are probably rooted in some sort of Judeo-Christian mythos.  It’s what your sub conscious dwells on day in and day out.  But there is so much more in the world than the big 5 (Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, and Hinduism).  Teach your inner demons about the eldritch horrors, travel via astral projection to the sunken city of R’lyeh.  Just like the bumper sticker: Coexist.

Emotional Energy is Everything.  When you lock your inner demons away, they feel unloved.  Embrace them.  Embrace them in public.  Let them see that you aren’t ashamed of them in front of your friends.  Love those demons and they’ll love you right back.