FORT MEADE, MD – In response to the COVID-19 pandemic, on-site NSA employees practice social distancing like most other business while keeping americans safe from it’s enemies by employing encryption, surveillance, and sifting through literal terabytes of gathered information.
Prior to the pandemic, the NSA “had a culture of face-to-face meetings“. These meetings were never held in shadowy back alleys like you see in the movies. They were in secure offices and conference rooms scatterd across the Fort Meade complex. Now we’ve discovered that we can just as efficiently spy on americans and foreigners if we use the GovCloud environment.
Basically, we are discovering that by watching what we do on a daily basis, your safety and security every day moves closer to ideal perfection.
Jonathan is a degreed physicist and engineer by day, and amateur entertainer in the evenings. He enjoys studying and performing improvised comedy and writing sketch comedy. When he’s had enough of listening to people complain, you can find him underwater scuba diving where he can’t hear you. It’s like space. No one can hear you, but not because of a vacuum. No. It’s because you can’t talk. So it’s like space, but without the radiation and deadly aliens that burst out of your chest.