Lebanon’s Government Resigns. American Libertarians Green with Envy

Protestors and Rioters in Lebanon

MAIN STREET, USA – For the first time in US history, a group of citizens, well non-delusional, non-self-entitled, actual productive citizens, wished the United States was more like a foreign country.  It’s the scenario that Libertarians have dreamed of since their formation as a political party.  The total resignation and abolition of a corrupt and ineffective national government.

“The whole government resigned, and Prime Minister Hassan Diab will head to the presidential palace to hand over the resignation in the name of all the ministers.”, was the quote reported in the New York Post earlier this week.  The resignations are in response to colossal mismanagement of the events leading to the deadly explosion at the Port of Beirut.

Speaking on the pretext of anonymity, Bob, a pseudonym for a local libertarian had this to say, “Of course it’s a dream scenario and we’d love to see this kind of event here, but there are a lot guillotines we’ve been building that would never get put to use.”  Further questioning of Bob revealed that the guillotines referenced were just large water bongs.  We aren’t certain why they couldn’t still be put to use.