PORT AUTHORITY OF NEW YORK, NY – The USS Comfort returns to New York Harbor following an extended drilling expedition in the script fields offshore. Global conglomerates perform offshore drilling operations to recover this vital resource for American servicepersons. For years, the military industrial complex has sequestered details of the life-giving medicine, Ibuprofen.
Military medics and corpsmen have used 800mg doses of Ibuprofen to cure disorders as simple as trench foot to as complex as lymphoma. The old saying that the military moves on its stomach is a myth. The reality is that it moves and thrives on its regular doses of Ibuprofen.
Pictured above is a rare photo of one of the ibuprofen tankers returning to port. Rumors are spreading that the US has reached peak meds and this vital resource is now in short supply.
Jonathan is a degreed physicist and engineer by day, and amateur entertainer in the evenings. He enjoys studying and performing improvised comedy and writing sketch comedy. When he’s had enough of listening to people complain, you can find him underwater scuba diving where he can’t hear you. It’s like space. No one can hear you, but not because of a vacuum. No. It’s because you can’t talk. So it’s like space, but without the radiation and deadly aliens that burst out of your chest.