Man Defaces Parking Meters. White Privilege Gets Him into Florida Chain Gang

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – A local man, Lucas Lukerson, fed up with the logistical hurdles COVID-19 keeps placing in his path, defaced, with malicious intent, parking meters in a downtown parking zone.  The local patriot placed signs on all the meters stating, “Sorry.  Coin Shortage”.

County Deputy Mark Markerson made a statement on the arrest: “What we have here is a failure to communicate.  Lukas saw a headline about the ‘Coin Shortage’ and took it literally.”  Deputy Markerson went on to explain that the real crime wasn’t defacing the meters, but only reading the headlines.  The penalty for defacing meters used to be the death penalty, but fortunately the police are working on a reduced budget these days.