WASHINGTON, D.C. – At today’s national intelligence briefing, President Biden was advised that “The Music” didn’t die yesterday, but that in fact, it died metaphorically in 1959 and that the song, “American Pie” memorialized the death in lyrics by Don McClean.
A shocked President Biden paused, mouth agape, for a moment and leapt into action. Grabbing his trusty executive order writing pen, the President ordered a national referendum and appropriated emergency funds to revive the hero of Nakatomi Plaza.
“John McClane is an important national treasure. We need him to feed us and do the, you know, that thing for us. I’m initiating an initiative to initiate a research institute to revive, the thing, John McClean. For all of us initiative Americans.”, said Biden.
John McClean is a fictional character, played by Bruce Willis, in the 1988 action film “Die Hard”. He is unrelated to the singer song writer, Don McClean. Staffers are afraid to mention this fact to President Biden.
Jonathan is a degreed physicist and engineer by day, and amateur entertainer in the evenings. He enjoys studying and performing improvised comedy and writing sketch comedy. When he’s had enough of listening to people complain, you can find him underwater scuba diving where he can’t hear you. It’s like space. No one can hear you, but not because of a vacuum. No. It’s because you can’t talk. So it’s like space, but without the radiation and deadly aliens that burst out of your chest.