PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA – This morning, Mayor Richard Alexander reached into the burrow at Gobbler’s Knob, the celebrated home of Punxsutawney Phil, and pulled Joe Biden out of the hole he’s been hiding in for the last 3 months. A confused Biden quickly looked around, smelled the mayor’s hair, and scurried away as he challenged crowd members to a push-up contest.
Biden’s appearance and seeing his shadow ensured that Americans would be subjected to two more months of negative political advertisements, robocalls from PACs, and uncomfortable arguments with friends.
Punxsutawney Phil, thanked the mayor and shouted over his shoulder, “See you in February!”, as he crawled back into the burrow.
Steven Stark is a self educated social commentator, humorist, and contributor. He is currently enjoying partial retirement and acting as editor for The Grand Beacon.