MARTHA’S VINEYARD, MA – Recently uncoverd documents reveal that John Kennedy Jr. was not the natural child of President John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Kennedy, but was purchased from Wayfair as part of an antique wooden desk.
Social media has been ablaze in recent weeks with stories of highly priced furniture bearing the name of missing children. A fine tooth search of historical Kennedy Presidential Library photos, an online archive of the 1960 wayfair.com website and some good old fashioned connect the dots, led to the revalation that the Kennedy’s purchased their son as part of an elaborite trafficking scheme.
A screen capture of young John-John trying to escape the Resoulte desk imprisoning him was uncovered with his name at an exorbitant price on wayfair.com. Both Wayfair and the Kennedy Presidential Library have resused to return our calls.
Jonathan is a degreed physicist and engineer by day, and amateur entertainer in the evenings. He enjoys studying and performing improvised comedy and writing sketch comedy. When he’s had enough of listening to people complain, you can find him underwater scuba diving where he can’t hear you. It’s like space. No one can hear you, but not because of a vacuum. No. It’s because you can’t talk. So it’s like space, but without the radiation and deadly aliens that burst out of your chest.