MAIN STREET, USA – Today a shopper at a local grocery store completed a self-checkout transaction without having to wait for assistance from a store employee. Once news of the achievement was verified by staff, the Nobel Laureate Committee in Oslo broke with tradition and immediately awarded the shopper the coveted prize for economics.
This places the shopper amongst the great winners like: Barack Obama – who became the first two-term president in history to oversee U.S. military forces at war for all eight years—fighting in Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq, Yemen, Libya, Somalia and Pakistan. Antonio Moniz – who invented the lobotomy. Fritz Haber – He won for mass producing ammonia (a fertilizer), but also weaponized chlorine gas for the Germans.
Numerous economists around the globe have theorized that this task was a possibility, but it has confounded the best and brightest of our time. Until now. The shopper, Joe, intends to completely uses a tube of Chap-Stick without losing it or sending it through the dryer for his next accomplishment.
Jonathan is a degreed physicist and engineer by day, and amateur entertainer in the evenings. He enjoys studying and performing improvised comedy and writing sketch comedy. When he’s had enough of listening to people complain, you can find him underwater scuba diving where he can’t hear you. It’s like space. No one can hear you, but not because of a vacuum. No. It’s because you can’t talk. So it’s like space, but without the radiation and deadly aliens that burst out of your chest.
