Shopper Completes Self-Checkout Without Assistance. Awarded Nobel Prize in Economics

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MAIN STREET, USA – Today a shopper at a local grocery store completed a self-checkout transaction without having to wait for assistance from a store employee.  Once news of the achievement was verified by staff, the Nobel Laureate Committee in Oslo broke with tradition and immediately awarded the shopper the coveted prize for economics.

This places the shopper amongst the great winners like: Barack Obama – who became the first two-term president in history to oversee U.S. military forces at war for all eight years—fighting in Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq, Yemen, Libya, Somalia and Pakistan.  Antonio Moniz – who invented the lobotomy.  Fritz Haber – He won for mass producing ammonia (a fertilizer), but also weaponized chlorine gas for the Germans.

Numerous economists around the globe have theorized that this task was a possibility, but it has confounded the best and brightest of our time.  Until now.  The shopper, Joe, intends to completely uses a tube of Chap-Stick without losing it or sending it through the dryer for his next accomplishment.