ALLENDALE, MI – Lake Michigan Drive. M-45. The “I don’t know how to get my slow ass into the right lane capital of the world.” The Grand Beacon recently talked with a Prius driver about common courtesy in the operation of a motor vehicle on the iconic state highway.
The Grand Beacon: So what’s the deal with driving from Standale to Allendale in the wrong lane?
Pretentious Parker: Well I’m a GV student, “Laker for Life!”, and I need to make a left hand turn onto Campus Drive, so it just kind of makes sense.
TGB: I see. Kind of makes sense. Undeclared humanities major. Right?
PP: That’s right! I can see why you’re in the media.
TGB: Do you realize that you’re supposed to keep right and only drive in the left lane to pass?
PP: Hey that’s not fair. Everyone on LMD breaks a law or two. For some it’s speeding. For others it’s texting and driving. For most of my sorority sisters, it’s driving aver drinking a few White Claws…wait…you are going to print that last one are you?
TGB: You aren’t going to drive slow in the left lane anymore are you?
PP: No.
TGB: Just like we won’t print this. Win-win.
Jonathan is a degreed physicist and engineer by day, and amateur entertainer in the evenings. He enjoys studying and performing improvised comedy and writing sketch comedy. When he’s had enough of listening to people complain, you can find him underwater scuba diving where he can’t hear you. It’s like space. No one can hear you, but not because of a vacuum. No. It’s because you can’t talk. So it’s like space, but without the radiation and deadly aliens that burst out of your chest.
