Slow Driver in Left Lane – “I Just Want to Watch the World Burn”


ALLENDALE, MI – Lake Michigan Drive.  M-45.  The “I don’t know how to get my slow ass into the right lane capital of the world.”  The Grand Beacon recently talked with a Prius driver about common courtesy in the operation of a motor vehicle on the iconic state highway.

The Grand Beacon: So what’s the deal with driving from Standale to Allendale in the wrong lane?

Pretentious Parker:  Well I’m a GV student, “Laker for Life!”, and I need to make a left hand turn onto Campus Drive, so it just kind of makes sense.

TGB:  I see.  Kind of makes sense.  Undeclared humanities major.  Right?

PP:  That’s right!  I can see why you’re in the media.

TGB:  Do you realize that you’re supposed to keep right and only drive in the left lane to pass?

PP:  Hey that’s not fair.  Everyone on LMD breaks a law or two.  For some it’s speeding.  For others it’s texting and driving.  For most of my sorority sisters, it’s driving aver drinking a few White Claws…wait…you are going to print that last one are you?

TGB:  You aren’t going to drive slow in the left lane anymore are you?

PP: No.

TGB:  Just like we won’t print this.  Win-win.