- Oops!…I Did it Again – Brittany Spears
- Barney and Friends Theme Song
- Enter Sandman – Metallica
- Dirrty – Christina Aguilera
- The Never Ending Story Theme Song – Limahl
While I may feel that my children torture me with some of their choices in music, the United States has a well documented history of implementing audio torture as one of its many tools for enhanced interrogation techniques.
The United Nations has banned the process, but the United States used this practice until 2009, and many many children still practice it on their parents.
Whithout further ado, the top five songs for use in enhanced interrogation:
Oops!…I did it again
The Brittany Spears blockbuster was use by the US on detainees at Guantanamo Bay. It wasn’t the volume that did the detainees in. It wasn’t the duration of the airplay that did them in. No. It was just the insidious catchiness of the songs.
This song was so effective at breaking detainees that other countries started using the technique. Furthermore the British Navy used this song and Baby One More Time to keep Somalian pirates at bay off the east coast of Africa.
Barney and Friends Theme Song
You know you hate it. You know you want to stick a pencil in your ear and spin it in large ovals until the pain…stops. The US actually uses this song on 45 minute loops to train servicememembers and intelligence officers for psychological conditioning. How do you like them apples?
The CIA (probably other TLA agencies as well) used a lot of heavy metal songs in their sleep deprivation phases of interrogation. I honestly don’t get this one. I learned to sleep through Metallica being played at all hours in college when my apartment neighbors would play the …and Justice for All album at hearing loss inducing levels all night. I guess enemies of the state never went to college and lived in an off campus apartment.
First and formost. TIL Dirty is now spelled Dirrty. No on to the interrogation technique. It seems that a lot of the people who find themselves in a situation where enhanced interrogation techniques might be used, also become psychologicaly unstable due to the culture shock from the lyrics to this song. “Oh my virgin ears! I can manufacture IEDs and terrorize innocent people, but the lyrics make me all queasy.”
The Never Ending Story
I honestly have no idea if any agency ever used this song as part of their interrogation. I was just eating dinner at a small diner, The Grand Coney. I was enjoying my eggs, bacon, and white toast and this song started. I think that last time I ate that fast to get the hell out of dodge was at Lackland Air Force Base for basic military training.
The song just scraped on my every nerve like nails on a chalkboard. It wins the list.
Jonathan is a degreed physicist and engineer by day, and amateur entertainer in the evenings. He enjoys studying and performing improvised comedy and writing sketch comedy. When he’s had enough of listening to people complain, you can find him underwater scuba diving where he can’t hear you. It’s like space. No one can hear you, but not because of a vacuum. No. It’s because you can’t talk. So it’s like space, but without the radiation and deadly aliens that burst out of your chest.