Top Five Things to Say to Your In-Laws on Thanksgiving

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  1. After you put it in, how long will it take?
  2. If I don’t unbutton my pants I’ll explode!
  3. Does it always pop up so fast?
  4. Sucking the nitrous out of the whipped cream is how I tolerate you. Did I say that out loud?
  5. I didn’t expect this. You all came at once.