MAR-A-LAGO, FL – The Office of the Former President announced shattering the former impeachment record for presidents by doubling the old numbers. With the democratic controlled house passing articles of impeachment against Donald J. Trump with no investigation, testimony, or precedent the Trump administration pulled off a fourth quarter miracle and was impeached twice as many times as any other president in history.
The Office of the Former President announced, “We have great impeachment numbers. Possibly the best impeachment numbers of all time. Nobody gets impeached the way we do.”
The Grand Beacon has reached out to the Office of the Confused President for comment and we were told that they would be seeking to “Butterfly…the…the…you know the thing.”
Jonathan is a degreed physicist and engineer by day, and amateur entertainer in the evenings. He enjoys studying and performing improvised comedy and writing sketch comedy. When he’s had enough of listening to people complain, you can find him underwater scuba diving where he can’t hear you. It’s like space. No one can hear you, but not because of a vacuum. No. It’s because you can’t talk. So it’s like space, but without the radiation and deadly aliens that burst out of your chest.
