WEBSTERVILLE, VT – The least used letters in the English alphabet are speaking out against their lack of equal representation in the language. For decades this lack of equality has been obvious and the low count letters are taking action. They have hired a PR firm and have put forth the following manifesto.
- End words where the C is hard. There is no reason for C to steal all the limelight. It’s double dipping. C needs to share.
- S no longer belongs at the end of the word. A Z would gain much more use with this implementation.
- X no longer requires an E to make the X sound. Come on we all do it anyway.
- G may no longer have the soft G sound. Those belong to J now.
- Q is sick of being pigeon holed with U. Q is their own entity and wants to be free of the shadow of U.
A get out the manifesto rally is scheduled for tomorrow at noon.
Jonathan is a degreed physicist and engineer by day, and amateur entertainer in the evenings. He enjoys studying and performing improvised comedy and writing sketch comedy. When he’s had enough of listening to people complain, you can find him underwater scuba diving where he can’t hear you. It’s like space. No one can hear you, but not because of a vacuum. No. It’s because you can’t talk. So it’s like space, but without the radiation and deadly aliens that burst out of your chest.
